It’s difficult to explain my feelings for the Contra series. Every Contra game I’ve played was unbearably hard, but at the same time, unbearably fun. I get my ass kicked by the bullet hell that awaits me, but I love every second of it. I think I finally have a perfect way of explaining my love for this unmatched series.

Pictured, Contra kicking your ass for over cooking the pot roast

Contra, is the abusive husband of the video game world. Every time we (nerds, geeks, otaku’s, normal’s) play Contra, we star in our own Lifetime Channel Original movie. Contra promises us hours of fun and excitement, and we always fall for its charms. Then, when we least expect it, Contra kicks our ass, unapologetically. Before you know it, you’ve lost all your lives on the first level, and have a black eye to explain to the neighbors.

I fell. That's right. I fell.

Contra Rebirth doesn’t stray from the recipe in any way. The game starts out as usual, like a low budget action sci-fi flick. Aliens are trying to take over earth again, and it’s up to the bad dudes to save the day once more.

The game supports up to 2 players. Players can select from either Bill or Yagyu, though I noticed little difference between the two. Yagyu’s bullets seemed to come out faster, but it could have just been my eyes playing tricks on me.

The game looks great, and felt like I was playing a SNES Virtual Console game, 16 bits of 2D glory. I had yet another reason to take out my Classic Controller, which doesn’t see much action nowadays. The game can also be played with the WiiMote, turned on it’s side, NES style.

There’s a few power ups to help (yeah right) you along the way. Bigger bullets, spread shots, missles: The usual Contra power ups.

Pictured, Bill, doing what Bill does best. Obliterating things.

My first run, it took me four continues to beat the first level. I gave up halfway towards the second. A guy can only take so much heartbreak.  Still, we know that Contra Rebirth isn’t lacking when it comes to difficulty.

While you play, everyone else will wonder, “Why does he stay with Contra? Why does he keep going back?” You’ll have no choice, really. We, have no choice. Contra is always there for us. Difficult, yes. But Contra loves us the way no other game can. With a fist.

The Awesome

-Old Contra goodness we all know and love/hate

-Challenging, but forgiving

-2 Player support, Classic Control option makes game feel old school

-Multiple characters, even more to unlock

The Not So Awesome

-Too hard. You will die, you will lose.

-Too short, four levels

Verdict

Contra ReBirth is a step in the right direction when it comes to the Contra Series. This game feels as if it were a port from a SNES or NES game, where we all know Contra shined the brightest. It is short, but you’ll love every second. Play alone, or with a friend, and get ready to get your ass handed to you.

Score: 9/10