In my humble opinion; and I do mean humble, I believe video games are art. I believe they should be considered on the same rank as movies, books, music, and other forms of art. What is a game, but a slew of pictures, words, music, and video? If all these different medias are considered art separately, why not when they’re mashed together? Sure, the Mona Lisa is fun to look at, but will it take me into a world of wonderment to help a small woodland boy thwart the plots of an evil half pig wizard monster? I don’t think so.

Better than all the paintings in the L'ouvre put together

Modern Warefare 2 recently came out, and the media had an absolute shit fit. I wish there was a better way to describe the media’s handling of the situation in a better way, but I’m afraid there’s just no other way to put it.  Heck, I cover Nintendo, and amidst all the new info for upcoming Nintendo titles, I just couldn’t escape the barrage of fecal matter coming at me, and from credible news sources no less! A Washington Post columnist called the game “barbaric.” The Washington Post: a newspaper so insanely good at reporting that it helped topple a corrupt presidency. On Fox and Friends (okay, this example might not be the most credible, but it is big!), Slashgamer.com’s John Christensen repudiated the accusation that you play as a terrorist, only to have Steve Doocy condescend, and point out that video games such as MW2 could turn kids into terrorists.

Why does this always happen? After all, video games are a multibillion-dollar industry; it’s a wonder why the mainstream media doesn’t take them seriously. A friend once pointed out to me, “Know what else is a multibillion-dollar industry? Porn.” Pornography is something many people rely on for “entertainment,” but I’m willing to bet more than half of the folks that enjoy it won’t admit to it. Perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe, there are tons of credible media personalities that would really enjoy gaming, but are too damn shy to admit it.

Therein lies the solution. We need to get video games into the hands of friendly media personalities, so we’ll have some good folks on our side when the media decides to throw another video game shit fit. Deciding who we pick will be the most difficult choice since the picking your first partner Pokemon.

It has to be someone relatively young, I don’t see us recruiting a Lou Dobbs or an O’Reilly anytime soon, this century or last. O’Reilly thinks video games are a plant by the liberal elite to turn our children into gay-illegal immigrant-hippie unions. And if I tried explaining video games to Lou Dobbs, he’d probably snicker at the fact that the Mario brothers are Italian. I hear the guy isn’t big on ethnicity’s that aren’t “American,” which isn’t really an ethnicity at all. But I digress. Larry King might enjoy them, but I’m not sure they make controllers for half men/half velociraptors.

Larry King, the first velociraptor newsman.

We need someone mild mannered. That rules out the rest of Fox News. But let’s face it; they’re never going to be on our side anyway. Wolf Blitzer might be too mild mannered, and I’m pretty sure he’s up there with Dobbs and O’Reilly when it comes to the whole age thing. This also rules out Chris Mathews and Keith Olbermann. The idea of Mathews getting a “thrill up his leg” whenever he plays video games is enough to turn me, and at least half of the American population off of them entirely. Keith Olbermann, though hip and informative, comes from the land of sports, ESPN. I think Madden gets enough hype, don’t you? Anderson Cooper couldn’t work. He might have been a good idea, but I don’t want him tearing up at the end of Final Fantasy 7. We need a serious, tempered newsman, not a drama queen. Who does that leave?

Who wouldn't trust that face?

Rachel Maddow is our go to guy/lady/host. She’s relatively new to the no holds barred 24-hour media clusterfuck that is cable news, and probably more open to the “scary T.V. flashy box” so feared by the rest of the media. Oh, and no joke, one time, I heard her say Sonic the Hedgehog on her show. True story. I’m just hoping she meant the old Sonic…

So what’s the plan of action? We need to get some video games in Ms. Maddow’s hands as soon as possible. Any game will do. Scratch that. Any “real” game will do. A game with a start, and a finish, and with some sort of conflict. And, for Ms. Maddow’s sake, a game that is easy for beginners. After she’s realized that pixilated pieces of art, whether they’re Italian plumbers or “terrorists,” aren’t anything to fear. And from now until the zombie apocalypse, we’ll forever have a defender in the media, to stand up for gamers, and more importantly, free speech.

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