In a recent Iwata Asks segment, Aonuma revealed that Spirit Tracks was inspired by a children’s book his son was fond of. If a book could inspire such a drastic move in the Zelda series (trains), I’d welcome more inspiration from other books! And not only to the Legend of Zelda series. I can see Nintendo pulling inspiration from tons of popular books in the future, ringing in an era of literary inspired masterpieces. The following are a few of my ideas.

A Series of Unfortunate Events inspiring Super Mario Bros.

Lemony Snicket has one of the most fanciful of narratives, and one of the quirkiest children’s authors that ever put pen to paper, although I’m fairly positive he used a typewriter. Super Mario Bros., while still one of the best series when it comes to platforming goodness, lacks terribly when it comes to having a deep, developed story. Why is Mario in the Mushroom Kingdom? How did Peach become a Princess? What is Bowser’s raison d’être? If anyone could come up with answers to these questions, it would make for quite the novella. Also, it would prove that Mario with a story isn’t always a bad idea…..I hope you can hear me Dennis Hopper.

Dennis Hopper knows what he did.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory inspiring Metroid

Metroid is arguably Nintendo’s most serious franchise, heck, even Zelda has moments of comic relief. Metroid has always been an immersive series, which I believe is based on amplifying fear, danger, and above all loneliness. It’s a shame for all of these feelings to be hoarded by one series. I say, we tone it down a little, just once. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory had an excellent story, and conveyed as many feelings as Metroid, only most of them were positive. In the newest Metroid, Samus should resort to using an idiosyncratic arsenal of weapons, such as the Chocolate Beam, and the Taffy Missle. Instead of killing Space Pirates, she’s going to turn them into delicious candy. For orphans. It’s a work in progress, but know this: We will be using the Captain N Mother Brain.

The best rendition of Mother Brain Ever.

The Hunt for Red October inspiring Kirby

Whereas Metroid is too serious, Kirby is way too lighthearted. No wonder Nintendo always has to make him look angry on his games’ boxart! Is there anything more serious than the threat of nuclear war? I don’t think there is. In the newest inspired Kirby, Metaknight has once again gone rogue, and is going to harness the Star Rod to make a giant nuclear warhead that will wipe out all of Dreamland. Kirby must become a special-ops agent, and grow more facial hair than Solid Snake. Also, no copy ability, just guns. Hoards, and hoards of guns.

This. Times 100.

Twilight inspiring Super Smash Bros.

Let’s imagine, for one moment, that Nintendo doesn’t want to make money anymore. It’s not enough to go down, they must go down with a bang! The best way to do that is to have Twilight inspire all of their franchises at once. In the latest Twilight inspired Smash Bros., absolutely nothing will happen. The game will be devoid of any story, save for the romance. There won’t be any climax. Peach will have to decide between Mario and Luigi, in a fight for her honor no one will care about. The game will simply be grey incidence, with the occasional terrible poem (written by an overweight goth), and more glitter than a Las Vegas Gentlemans Club. Nintendo’s stock will fall a billion points, and the company we all know and love will go the way of the Dodo.

"What team are you on?" I'm on team shut the hell up.

I have to admit, my literary knowledge isn’t very broad. Any ideas for books you’d like to see inspire Nintendo franchises?

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